Hidden Barriers by Sara Shirley

Author:Sara Shirley [Shirley, Sara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary Romance
Publisher: ABP Publishing
Published: 2014-08-10T16:00:00+00:00

Today is the first day people have left me alone. I am mentally exhausted and really just want to not have everyone breathing down my neck, wondering how I am doing or what they can do to help me. Nobody here understands what I’ve gone through, not one single person. So, forgive me if for the last two weeks I have wallowed in my shell of a body and tried to figure out how the hell to live my life, knowing the man that once tried to kill me is back on the streets.

I’m not sure how I managed to do it, but I’ve pushed Josh away in the process. That’s what hurts the most right now. I gave him every part of my soul, and he helped me move forward and loved me through it all. But, right now, I’m sure he’s wondering why he ever bothered falling in love with someone with as much baggage as I have.

It doesn’t matter. With the look on his face yesterday after I all but kicked him out of my room and told him to just go to work and leave me alone, I knew I broke his heart. He fought me tooth and nail, but he wouldn’t leave my side for two weeks straight.

I’m not a fragile piece of glass that needs to be coddled. I need to be able to stand on my own and figure out my shit, except this time I need to figure it out, knowing Stone isn’t behind bars.

A knock on my bedroom door breaks my thinking. I mute the Supernatural episode I’m watching and look up to see Drew standing in my doorway in his digi-cammies and carrying his military bag over his shoulder.

He steps forward with purpose and drops his heavy bag onto the floor with a loud thump. His stern eyes and presence here tell me all I need to know. I glance back at the television, turning the volume back up as I sarcastically blurt out, “When did Josh call you to come try to fix me?”

“Damn it, Sam!” Drew marches over, his boots loud against the wooden floor. “You listen to me. I get it, okay. He’s out. Be scared if you want. Be a bitch. I don’t care. But, do not push away the guy you love because he’s trying to help you.”

I search his face for some kind of hint as to how he knows my feelings are that strong for Josh. Drew has always known my thoughts long before I speak them, as is the case at the moment.

“I know, Sam. For years you’ve protected yourself, and now the minute you feel threatened, you push everyone away. Josh loves you. He called me because he doesn’t know what else to do. You can’t live your life in fear. Pushing Josh away because you think he’s trying to help, it’s wrong, and you know it’s wrong. Do you love him, Sam?”

“Yes, of course, I do, but it’s not fair to him for me to drag him into this nightmare I live.

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